Wednesday, July 7, 2010

It must be the heat........

I'm hoping it's just the heat.  I've been getting more and more bummed this week and I really hope I am just not coping well because of the temperatures.  This fat body just can't take it I guess. 
I suppose it could be because after living easy life for a while after selling the house it's back to "normal" life and it's time to reign in the spending.  That's part of it I guess.  The other part is kids.  Just kids in general.   Summer time bickering and that sort of thing.....  College kid that doesn't want to spend time with his mama...... Ya know, the usual. 
I guess the other thing that bums me out is the inability to take a killer family vacation.  I know, it sounds silly and very selfish, but I just am.  When I say killer family vaca, I'm not talking about spending a ton of money.  I'm just talking about being able to go somewhere.  I'm so used to going places when I was younger and when the older kids were younger that I wish we could still do that.  This time around it's somehow not a priority.  Hmmmmm.  Oh well.  I'll get over it.  I have to.  Right? 
The other things that bum me out are hearing how the world is going to hell in a hand basket fast.  Or how the economy is going to crash.... again.  BOO HISSSSS.....  Honestly, I guess I just want to stay in my own little bubble and not think about it.  I don't want to dwell on it.  It's going to happen anyway so why talk about it and make everyone worry?  We pretty much got what we deserved anyhoo.  When you bail out companies with money we don't have and then ram a health care plan that we can't afford through, what does anyone expect? 
And last but not least, I guess I'm sad that Danny is starting his summer school schedule next week.  It's only 3 hours each morning, but it is still time away from him.  I know, in a way I'm looking forward to the break, but most of me is just plain sad.
Sometimes I feel like I am an idiot and probably the only parent on earth that has a child with special needs that sometimes just feels sad and scared and whatever the heck else I'm feeling.  I know that isn't true but it just feels that way.  Then I feel guilty because I think of all the other people out there with kids that have WAY worse needs than Danny has and they probably would love to have a child as easy(in comparision) as Danny.   So I know there is no need for me to feel sorry for myself, but I really just do sometimes.  As selfish as that may be.  Sooooo, that being said, I'm hoping it just is the heat.

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