Sunday, November 28, 2010

Thanksgiving and so on.

Kermit the Frog said it isn't easy being green, but I think that it's even harder being a mom..........  
The older I get, the more I realize how many times I must have made my mom cry.  If I could go back and redo every time I ever did, I would.  Although hindsight is always better than foresight.  
It's amazing to me that out of anyone in the world, kids can make a mom feel at the top of the world or at the bottom of the ocean.  It's not fair I guess that kids have all that put on their shoulders, and I don't think it's intentional, it just is the way it is.   I know that any friend could make a sarcastic remark to me and it may hurt but it's forgotten or brushed off within an hour or two, but when kids make a cutting remark to a mom it cuts deep to the heart like nothing else can.  The words linger and mull around for days..... 
This Thanksgiving pretty much sucked.  Not that it was bad I guess.  There were a lot of positve things about the week.  I got to spend quite a bit of time with my oldest son and it was the highlight of my week.....  then my second oldest came home for the week and I got to see him a little.  He spent quite a bit of time out of the house, but I keep telling myself that is what college students do when they don't get home much.  Right?   Yeah, I'm gonna go with that.  He has big decisions on his brain and that caused a lot of angst..... more for me I think than him..........  I'm wondering if it's easier to just pull away from the ones who love you the most when stress is in your life?????  Although for me, it just makes me think I must be part of the stress....  Ugh, my mind works to much I think.  Why can't I think more like a man?  Yeah, I know.  It's the estrogen thing.....
The other nice thing about the week was that my mother-in-law and sister-in-law came Thanksgiving day and had dinner with us.  That was really nice.  I really have a fantastic mother in law.  And I even say that knowing she doesn't even read my blog........But it was nice they came,  especially since my mom was in Ct with two of my other sisters and their families.......  and my other sister and her family, including my favorite nephew and favorite niece in law and great niece who were there from Germany, were in Arkansas..........but the nice thing was that I was at least invited to Arkansas.
I'm not exactly sure why I'm mildly depressed about this past week.  Well, actually I am.  I could write about exact things, but since this blog is public  I won't. But just know that there are specifics.  Some things I guess are stupid and irrational, other things are valid and should change but what am I?  God?  Thank Him I'm not, because I'm pretty certain I would screw it up.  At the very least I would smite some people off the face of the earth and I'm pretty sure He doesn't do that when people make Him sad.  At least I hope not.....  wait, is that a meteor coming my way??


  1. I'm sorry you had a bad week last week, but considering the circumstances, I would have probably felt the same're loved oh-so-much and I'm sorry if I don't tell you often enough how much you mean to me...and how much you inspire me. Here's to a better week for you...and a holiday season filled with many happy moments that you so deserve!

  2. I know exactly how you feel, and have had a few of those holidays myself. I really would have loved to have you here, you know. Hang in there, because in a few years everything will change......other children besides your own children will be the ones to say the mean things. (I have them at school now, and it makes me HATE my job some days) I guess maybe kids are born with junk that they have to release before they can grow up, and we are the lucky ones who are the receivers of it?
    Whatever, you are a FANTASTIC Mom, and the BEST sister ever!