the truth about cats and dogs

Pets!  It's very ironic how the word, if changed, spells pest.  In our house we have an abundance of pests.  I mean pets.  We have two guinea pigs, two indoor cats, one lizard and one dog.   The dog, which was once an outdoor dog has now become an indoor dog with the propensity to think he is my 7th child.  Forget about human brother/sister sibling rivalry.  I have dog/cat sibling rivalry happening in our home.   The dog, as most dogs are, is like a large four legged baby with no hope of their IQ reaching past 1.3, cats on the other hand are like snobby geniuses that make Einstein look like a moron.   I'm constantly telling our cat Sam to play nice with our dog Hound.  Do they listen?  No.  Sam torments hound every occasion she gets and has now decided it is quite funny to chase the dog down the hallway.  Sam thinks she is queen bee in the house and even limits our other cats food intake.  I think this is because Sam has an eating disorder.  Let me describe what Sam would be like if she were human.  Sam would be a bulimic know-it-all sociopath with narcissistic tendencies.  The dog on the other hand would be like  Gomer Pyle, except not as bright with breath like a toilet bowl.     Oh well.  Animals help keep us sane right?  I think it's because we see ourselves in them  There are days when I'd like to rip out someones eyes like the cat has tried many times and some days I feel like I've rolled in a pile of dog doo then rolled across the carpet spreading my yuck everywhere.   I guess I won't complain, just as long as I don't start scooting my butt across the floor or licking my private parts in public.