Why Florida is my home

Back from another amazing trip to Florida.....  it isn't named the Sunshine state for nothin, y'all!  
Every time I go back I'm reminded of how much I miss my state.  Yes, MY state.  I feel like it's home.  Always have, probably always will.
I have people ask me ' wouldn't you miss the snow?" "wouldn't you miss the season change?"   My response is normally, NOPE!  Seasons still change in Florida, it's just more subtle.
I'm also pretty darn sure I annoy the snot out of everyone who reads my FB posts while I'm away about how much I love FL, don't want to come home, etc, etc. etc.......    So. I decided to write about WHY I love Florida.

Yes, I was born in NY.  YUCK!  If I had had my way, I would have been born in Florida, but I wasn't so I will just have to deal.  SO, why on earth do I feel such a connection to this swampy, heat soaked state?  So here it is friends.....

The last place I had my dad was in Florida.

It has taken me 44 years... ok, more like 20 something years to figure out why in the world NY has never felt like home to me.  This last trip solidified it, and I was able to say unequivocally, that was the reason.

My dads body is buried here in NY, but his essence ( yeah that is weird) is still in FL. I can feel it.  It's like a part of me thinks I'll find him, or be closer to him if I'm in Florida......  ok, sign me up for the looney bin.

This past trip, I inadvertently drove past the airport where he took off from and crashed.  Then later in
 my trip, I happened to drive by the airport he would fly into when he flew to work (every day).   I thought it was creepy odd.  Yet at the same time comforting.  It was like I was getting some sort of validation for feeling that my heart belongs here.

So there it is folks.....  that is the biggest reason I feel Florida is my home.   Like it or don't.  Doesn't matter.  I'd move there in a heart-beat if we could financially swing it.   I would miss my friends, family, etc, but I would go.   I love the heat, the friendly people, the whole shebang.
Hate me if you must, think I'm strange if you do........   I'll be on the beach, not worrying about any of it.

For more good reasons, see here:   Extended family..... I have cousins who I adore and actually like me too, I have nephews and nieces and a super cool sister and brother in law who live there.  Other nieces,  cousins and such live in the south, within a 6 hr drive.   My parents live there 6 months out of the year.

The weather is AMAZING.  Seriously, amazing.  Yes, it gets hotter than heckaroony in Summer, but I was made for heat.   We can do all sorts of outdoor activities year round.  Yeah, we could in NY too, IF we enjoyed skiing and could afford that habit on a regular basis.  Kayaking is free, biking is free,
running is free.   FREE.

Florida is a much easier homeschool friendly state.  Kids can do sports, etc....... Less regulations.......

Florida is a nicer gun owner state.

So, with all that said........ I. Sure y'all are losing sleep over us going or staying...  For now, we are staying.   For now. 😜😄

Depressing read...... proceed with caution

Do any of you ever wish for days gone by?  I'm sure you do..... back to when life was simpler, kinder, just plain easier.  I feel like at least once or twice a year, I get in these 'moods' when I'm not sure if I'm feeling nostalgic, or am having a bout of depression going on.  My mind takes me back to before life got so complicated; back to days when life was just easy, so tears come quick, my happy face is hard to put on, and life just seems to have no joy.  I relive the tried and true bible verses of where my hope comes from; The Lord!  I mumble out old hymns and sing along with the worship songs on the radio...... This helps, but if I'm being real here, which I am, it does very little to lift my spirits.  I can only imagine what it would be like for someone WITHOUT a hope in Christ...  holy smokes.   
I do the self talk thing " it's just feelings, we don't live by our feelings, remember Jeanette?!" " this too shall pass, get over yourself"  all those sorts of things..... I mean, come on! It was my birthday a few days ago, what could make me sad, right? UGH.  Yeah.  
So today, I see a picture of my oldest sister and I from her wedding day 39 years ago.  She was a young bride starting out her new life as a wife, I had just turned 5 the day before.  The carefree, problem free look on my face says that life could not be any better.......  but looking at that picture today only makes me think about my dad.  That wedding was the last big event we would celebrate together.  10 months later, we all would be standing around the funeral home saying good-bye to our, my, best friend.  Maybe he wasn't my best friend, but I hope he was.  
Life was so much simpler then.  Life before cell phones, before constant TV, before the daily onslaught of internet junk and before Facebook.  Maybe life COULD be simpler if I could let go of that stupid last addiction......  then I could at least not get upset over the irritatingly easy arguments that begin,  devoid of full truths and real conviction.  
Life was easier when we didn't have to worry that the government thought they knew more than parents and they actually gave kudos to mothers that chose to stay home.....
Back when life made sense.  When laws where made and upheld.  When the constitution was followed and people didn't forget what it said.  When the United States wasn't a joke.  When the President actually cared about doing the right thing!  
Depressing. Right?  Yeah, I'm right. I know.  There IS hope.  I know it, I get it..... hopefully soon I will snap out of it and be able to embrace it.  I don't like being in this funk.  It's not me.  I'm normally more of the anxious, nervous type..... trust me, it is MUCH better than the depressed me type.     
No worries people.....  I'm FINE.... seriously.  Fine.  I'm the gotta pull yourself up by the bootstraps kind of gal.....  I'm just venting...... out loud (sort of)    I can only vent so much out loud without totally pissing everyone off.... been there, done that and it ain't pretty.  Which sort of lends to the whole depressed thing..... because if you have to hide feelings that doesn't always do good things to your soul..... but sometimes it is easier than the argument..... when your the type of person who gets flustered and can't string a coherent angry/frustrated sentence together even though you are actually smart and have good thoughts in your brain.... yeah, I'm that person.....  Some days I wish I was like my good friend, who shall remain nameless, but could cuss a blue streak, and make a sailor cry and then get him/her to apologize to you.   Is that horrible to think that way?  To want to go there and do that?  I'm sure I wouldn't feel better in the long run..... i'd feel worse, I know....  god forbid I'd make anyone unhappy.... or sad.....  Trust me, I  KNOW i make people sad, or mad, but believe me when I tell you, I probably feel way worse and am doing penance and self flogging for days afterward.  If any of you reading this are Jeanette haters..... I didn't mean that, I like making you sad.... I was just saying that to trick you..... ok, not really......  
Come on, I know there is at least ONE other person out there, that don't share my DNA, that understand how I feel.  Right?  I sure hope so, because otherwise I think I might be looking into mental hospitals.... ha . ha.  haaaaaaaaaaaaaa....   
SO.  All that being said.... written..... whatever.....  Life WAS easier then...  39 years ago.... when moms and dads could wipe tears away....... when your biggest concern was whether or not you got to watch road runner or not...... yeah..... life was good then.....  

Because I'm happy!!!

 I've noticed many people are doing the 100 days of happy....  I thought about jumping on that bandwagon, but I knew I'd fall off because I'm just not the stay on the saddle type of girl..  So the next best thing was to write a blog post about why I'm happy.  I better do it before a bad mood hits, because seriously, NOBODY wants to read a 100 days of why I'm pissed post. 

I'm a million times positive all of you have heard the song 'Happy' by whoever he is.  I absolutely ADORE that song!  Love it, love it, love it!  You can't help but feel happy hearing it..... unless you are playing it too loud and your neighbor calls the cops..... THEEEENNNN you might not be happy. 

I'm happy because of these goofy goobers.   I was going to go on and on about each one, how great they are, but come on, you don't want to read a 10 page write up on each kid.......  That will come later.

I'm happy because Justin is doing something he loves.  He has always love Fire Trucks and now gets to ride in them.  I'm glad he learned to say Fire Truck the right way instead of pronouncing truck with an F.......  I'm sure his fellow firefighters do as well. 

 I'm happy because Jake and Amanda are doing so well.  They are such hard workers and do everything with 110%.   Manda is my absolute hero and Jake has a 'can do' spirit that won't quit! 

 

I'm happy because of these two!  I love watching Abby become a better and better mom every day.  She is truly amazing!  And I'm happy because of Tomas! Every picture I see makes my heart melt into a pile of happiness goo!

I'm happy Ally has found her passion.  She loves riding, jumping, showing and I love watching her do it!  It makes me happy she has found her own "thing". 



I'm happy I have a Mother who loves the Lord more than she does me.  I know, it sounds weird.... but it's true.  I am happy because I know without a doubt she prays for me and my family daily.  It gives me a peace. 


I'm happy I have a mother-in -law who is funny and likes to travel.  She looks quite and refined, but watch out world, she will WRITE A LETTER!  ( you just had to be there, trust me!)


I'm happy I have sisters that are all unique.   They make me happy in their own special way.  Most days. Most weeks, ok, once in a while they make me happy.   HA HA HA HA.... oh sisters, I love you and you make me happy all the time.  ( don't you love having me as a sister?) 

I'm happy because my sister Renee is my best friend.  She has been a second mom, a mentor, a guide and someone I can count on always.  Everyone needs someone like that in their corner and I know she is in mine. 

I'm happy because of my dog..... well, technically he is Slayts dog...... technically.   Sort of.    Face it, Slayt, he is mine.  There, I said it.  Possession is 9/10th of the law.  ( you love me and you know it )

 

I'm happy because I have amazing friends.  Some I have had for what seems like forever, and others I've known for just a little while. 

 
Most of you have heard me talk about my "ladies"..... these women are what makes me smile almost every Wednesday.   Everyone should have a group of ladies like these.....  except you can't have mine. Seriously, I won't let you......  wanna fight about it?

I'm happy because of my friend Shari..... who happens to be my son's mother in law.... but I like to think we would be friends anyway.  HA!!   Shari makes me happy.... her name should have been Sunshine. 

 Sunshine Shari!  I like it.... 




I'm happy because of my house.  I love my house.

 I love my fun neighbors who happen to be great friends.  I'm happy when I hear them outside because I love hearing them have fun!  It makes me happy when our kids play for hours on end without arguing! 

I'm happy because Jesus Christ died for my sins so I wouldn't have to.  That really is an understatement though.  I'm more than happy about that.  I'm eternally grateful.  I'm in shock that HE would do that for me.  I'm full of gratitude that He loves me enough to continually forgive me and lets me keep taking a breath each day.  Honestly and truly.

I'm happy because I have been blessed with TWO dads.  Not just my biological dad, but also my step-dad.  I've been twice blessed!  I'm happy because I know that some day I will see my Dad again.

I'm happy when I read the poem Highflight.  It makes me think of my dad. 

I'm happy when I fly. 

I'm happy when it is hotter than hot and sweat is pouring off me and I smell.  Yes, I like when I sweat and smell.  Don't judge.  Just don't.  It means the weather is hot and I'm loving life.   So if you ever see me sweaty and smelly, just know that while you may want to gag, I am loving life. 

I'm happy when I run.  It makes me feel good about myself.  Even though I may look like a slug running....  again, don't judge. 

I'm happy that I married my husband.  I love him more than I can even express.  More than he probably understands, and more than I will ever be able to show him.   He is my world.  My hero.  My everything.

I'm happy when I kayak.  It's just FUN.   I'm especially happy when I kayak in the Adirondaks OR in Florida.

I am happy when I'm painting.  That I can paint.  That I DO paint. 

I'm happy that all of my kids and their spouses love the Lord. 

Ice tea makes me happy.  Bonfires make me happy. 

Slayt makes me happy.   He is so affectionate and loving.  It makes me happy when he walks by me and just paps me on the shoulder.  He really is a big teddy bear.  A LOUD teddy bear....  A know it all teddy bear.....  but he still makes me happy.

Writing makes me happy.  When I have the time.  I'm happy that I published my book.  That really made me happy.

                                                                                                         

My silly sister in law makes me      happy.  She is a fun traveling companion.... as long as you don't talk to her in the morning until she is fully awake.... right Sal?  You know it's true

What's on my mind?

There has been so much on my mind lately.  Much of it, I choose not to blog about.
I was asked recently how I decide what to write about and share with everyone, and how I decide when I shouldn't.  I guess it's not really an easy question to answer.   My impulsive and natural instinct and brain would have me spout off and have diarrhea of the mouth.  I've done it before and the outcome is not a good one.  But recently, I've tried to be more intentional about what I choose to share.  So for now, I make my decisions on what I share based on this criteria: #1- Does it encourage people to choose Christ?  That is my first and most important deciding point. If it doesn't, then I don't post it. #2- Does it embarrass someone?  If it does, I try not to.  If I do, it honestly is unintentional and let me know if I have embarrassed you.  In the case of my kids, slight embarrassment is part of the territory of being my child.  I gave birth to you, thus rendering ALL instances of embarrassment a right of mine. (this is said with a smile on my face)
and lastly, #3- is what I'm saying out of anger? Or have I worked through the ick and yuck and am just making a point or talking about the left-over feelings?  If it's an angry rant, I try, sometimes unsuccessfully, to not post.  However, even if I am angry, I will not use names.
Does any of that blabber make sense?  I hope so.  So here goes.........
What's on my mind lately?
My kids.  All 6 of them.  I really am proud of them.  From the oldest, right down to the youngest.  Each are unique and I love each and every quality that makes them, well, them.  I am in awe of how well they are doing and who they have become, in spite of my failures and inadequacies as a mother.  But even though they are doing well, it doesn't mean they don't struggle at times.  Life is still hard at times for them.  The older ones have bills to pay and that is not always easy.  Learning how to navigate married life, college and friends, boyfriend/girlfriend relationships.  It's all a learning experience for them.  As a parent, I want to make everything "ok" in their lives.  I want to make a million dollars to pay all their bills, pay off college loans, and give them all they could want to make them "happy".   But I can't, and hopefully even if I could, I wouldn't.  Sometimes the hard things are what makes us stronger in the long run.  Sure, I'd probably pay of college debt if I could, but just "fixing" everything wouldn't really fix anything. 
What else is on my mind?
Danny.
He is on my mind all the time, but lately i've been needing to work hard to not "worry" about him.   His new diagnosis is a good thing.  It is.   But at the same time, it leaves a few more unanswered questions and more "wait and see".  I don't do well with "wait and see".  I'm so thankful that we have connected with the doctors at Boston Children's. They have been a wealth of knowledge and a great help in learning more.  Many of our thoughts about how Danny acts and how he learns, or doesn't learn, have been confirmed that what we see is an accurate definition of this syndrome.  It has also been a help so we can give this information to the school so they can help understand him as well.  Yet, there are other things that I never expected that  have come to light regarding this diagnosis.  The likely possibility that Daniel will have problems down the road with his feet or hands going numb is a bummer to think about.  Thinking about future nerve conduction testing to check the progression of this is a sad thought.  It's painful and not a fun thing for Dan to go through.  Then the fact that he will need hormones to make his body go into puberty kind of freaks me out.  Don't ask me why.  It just does.  Who would have thought that because he can't smell, he more than likely won't go into puberty on his own?  Weird.  Neat, and cool, and completely amazing. 
And even though I have fully expected Dan to need to live at home with us forever, when I'm reminded by doctors of this fact, it somehow hits me in the face like a new realization.  It's not depressing really, it's just, I don't know, it's just..... ugh, I guess I feel sad for HIM.  Not me, but Dan.  But then, on the other hand, why feel sad for him? He is perfectly perfect just how he was created.  His life has had more of an impact on others in his 10 years on earth than mine has had in the last 41.  So I guess it's just that I can't really describe how I'm feeling. 
And lastly...... I've got my book on my mind.
This new journey I've been on has been very cool for me.  It has been completely daunting, and scarey and really really neat.   I love what I'm doing.  I love writing, I love speaking to women, and I guess that is a great thing.  If I hated it, that would be a bummer.  Who knows if I am any good at it, but I feel that God has called me to this, and I'm grateful for the opportunity He has given me.  It's when I start worrying about getting speaking engagements or selling books that I get frustrated.  And even then, I have to remind myself that this is NOT about me.   This whole journey is about doing what I've been called to do right now.  How long will it last?  As long as God is in it.  The minute it becomes about me, then I'm done.  And you can hold me to that. 
So, i guess that is what is on my mind in a nut shell.

Being early is over-rated and other lies......

My husband and I are completely opposite on most things most of the time..... He is a math genius, and anything other than the basic one plus one and simple division (with aid of a calculator) are utterly lost on me.  I, on the other hand, love to write which boggles my husbands brain.  Yet, one thing we can agree on, is being on time OR early to events, church, parties, etc....   I had always been taught, as well as my husband, that being late to something tells people that your time is not as important as mine.  SO, how did we end up with a daughter that is perpetually late, always looking around for things the last minute and is the ultimate in oblivious to the clock. 
This morning was no exception.  As usual, we woke up at 6:30 to begin our before school regime.  I have decided that all the kids take showers, baths or whatnot the night before because it just added to our delay in the morning.  Ok, back to the story, anyway, we get up.  I wake Ally up first and tell her to get up and get breakfast.   Ten minutes later she finally gets up.  Walks around in a daze for another ten minutes and then begins the process of finding her clothes ( which she already got out the night before).  This brings us to 7am at least.  The bus comes at 7:40.  Again, I remind her to get her breakfast.  Five minutes later she is in the bathroom washing her hair AGAIN.  Again, I remind her we are leaving in 20 minutes for the bus.  Is she dressed?  No.  Is her hair done?  No, washed yes, combed no.  I tell her that she needs to put her lunch in her bookbag.   "ok" she says.  Five minutes later I look, and the lunch is still sitting on the counter.  UGH.  So by this time we are at what, like ten minutes before we need to leave.  Again, with agitation in my voice, I say to miss Ally, "Ally, we are leaving in ten minutes, you NEED to get dressed, put your lunch in your bag and get your shoes on." 
All the while, my blood pressure is rising, my eyes are starting to twitch and Ally looks at me like I'm completely over-reacting. 
Time to leave. I am walking out the door.... actually, I lie.  I've learned that if I walk out the door before the kids, that is usually a clear sign we will miss the bus, so I have learned to be the last one herding the chicks out the door.  But I digress.....  I tell them I'm walking out the door.  The boys grab their things and head out the door.  I call, no scream, for Ally.  She come out of the bedroom, buttoning her pants, shirt half on, hair still wet, no shoes on, lunch on the counter, book-bag no where to be found, and the look of sheer disbelief that I, yes, I could have made her late! 

Somehow, we manage to grab everything she needs, get in the car, head to the bus and STILL have a couple minutes to spare.......  to which Ally says "but I didn't have time to get breakfast". 

I miss having the kids home.....  Well most of the time I do.  I love the relaxing, do-what-we-wish feel of summer, but sometimes it is nice having the routine of September when the kids go back to school.
When summer is here and kids are home, it is time for me to put down the writing and blogging and focus on my most important job, which is being a mom.   By September, I am usually chomping at the bit to get out my computer to log or write or whatever......  And this year it's even more busy because of my book being published and all that goes into marketing, signings, speaking engagements, etc.  
This year I only had 3 kiddos heading off the school this year.  it was odd not to have my oldest daughter here to help offer suggestions about what to wear to siblings.   she is off on an adventure of her own, attending Word of Life Bible college in the Adirondaks.   It's so exciting for her, but this mom is missing her terribly!
So, here we are getting into the swing of things, with homework, soccer games, and the normal "stuff" that most household have.  I'm looking forward to all this school year holds!

the complex human race..... and all that jazz

Some things just fascinate me.   People especially do, and just the complexity of the human race in general. 
I am always at amazed at how closely truth and untruth are related, and how easily twisted it can become in a matter of seconds. 
Satan wants to make us confused into believing the lies that he tells us, and skew them into half truths so that if we are not careful, or in tuned to the Holy Spirit, it gets us off the path.  The scary thing is, that to get us off path and our focus off the Lord, it doesn't take something huge or even important in the big scheme of things.   Little issues can become huge ones if allowed.  What are some of those "little" things that get us off track?
Politics.  People pick sides, Democrat, Republican, Independent, etc...... and we hold fast and hard to the "right" side.  Bi-partisanship gets thrown out the window, and we buy into everything our preferred candidate says, hook, line and sinker!   Republicans assume that ALL Dems are bad, Democrats assume ALL republicans are bad, and so on down the line.  But when we step back and look at the big, giant picture, we realize that 1.) most politicians are out for #1 and #1 is not the constituents that got them elected,  2.) the right thing to do is usually found somewhere in the middle of where the republicans and democrats meet. and 3.) sometimes its best to throw them all out and start fresh with new grunts....... 4.) realize that in the long run, it does not really matter.  Honestly.  Yes, vote your conscience for sure, but really, God does not need help writing the book of Revelation.  He already did that.  It's already figured out and who we vote for is not going to change the course of history. 
Yet, we still debate, get into huge disagreements, pick sides and throw our real purpose out the window, which is to point people to Christ, not a president.  We get to worried about making sure people vote for the one we want them to, instead of tell people about Christ and then letting them make the decision on their own.   I certainly care more about who people vote for to save their lives in eternity, more than someone who will promise them the world and deliver nothing. 

Homeschool vs. Public school:  I've tried both, and honestly, unless God grants me a HUGE measure of patients, then for the sake of my children, I choose Public school for my kids.  That being said, I LOVE the idea of homeschooling, and I wish I could do it.   Honestly, I do.  I love having my kids home, most days, and I would love to keep them from hearing lies taught by secular teachers.  BUT, I have met people who pretty much think I am sending my kids to hell in a pretty little hand-basket because I don't homeschool.   
The only thing I can say to that is, if I can't do a good job of teaching my kids how to serve Christ and live for Him in a public school setting, or in the "world", then I'm doing a pretty horrible job as a parent anyway. 
Yes, it is SUPER hard to raise Christian kids in the public school setting.  Like, WHOA, hard!  But it IS possible.  I also know that there are many homeschool families who do a great job getting their kids active in the community and are a great witness.  It's just a balance. Neither is easy,  but both is possible.  Whichever one you choose. 

Skinny vs. Fat:  So which one will get to heaven first?  That seems to be a big question on the minds of many christians.  I honestly never had even dreamed it was something to be debated.  Yet, in the last 5 years, it has been brought up to me, or in other circles, that skinny will be the reigning queen in heaven.   Ok.  Well, then I guess I am going to be the poop scooper.    Really?  Does it really mean one person is more "spiritually" endowed than the other?  The funny thing is, that many and honestly MOST of the people that are proponents of the skinny heaven theory, are men.  Yes, I said it, men.  OR skinny women with no history of having issues with weight. 
Let me tell you something....... skinny people are grumpy.  Welll....... NOT alllllll skinny people...... but some.   Ok, here is my thought.   If I thought for one single second that the only way to pleasing God was to be skinny, then I would be the first one to sign up for Jenny Craig.  However, I was under the impression the pleasing God meant that I am to serve Him with my whole heart, love others as I love myself, tell others about Jesus Christ.  
Ok, so now I'm going to have those who disagree point out the verses about gluttony.    Yes.   I do think that gluttony is wrong.  Nothing should be as important as Christ in our lives.   If someone has a problem with over-eating and that is their god, then yes, they should work on that.  Does that mean I expect them to be a size 2 or even 8?  No.  I expect them to put God first in their lives.  That's it.  Nothing more.  Nothing less.
The same goes for people who make golf or friends, or tanning, or whatever other million things it could be, the center of their lives. 
My point is this.  Being skinny is not always a sign of righteousness.  It's not a sign of godliness.  It is only a sign that someone is ....... skinny.  And might possibly have a eating disorder or tapeworm. 
Being over-weight does NOT make a person nonspiritual or less of a christian.  It makes them.... wait for it.....  over-weight.  Or a thyroid disorder.  =)   
We should be more concerned with the heart.  Not the outward appearance. 
\
So, yeah..... people are complicated and odd at times..... but that goodness we are not all the same.  It would be a very boring place if everyone was just like ourselves.  

Boston trip

So it has been a completely we awesome and exhausting three days.   Sunday we, as in Ron, Daniel and myself traveled from home, which is in Alfred, NY, to New Canaan, Ct for the first leg of our Boston trip.   That part of the trip nice and we got to see family, which is always a plus.   On Monday, we left for Boston and the first of two very long and strenuous Doctor appointments.    The whole process of coming out to Boston has been an answer to prayer, and if you don't believe in that sort of thing, then look out because this is nothing short of amazing! Ok, so I'll start at the beginning.......  Our youngest son Daniel was born with multiple disabilities, one of which was diagnosed as Moebius Syndrome.  This condition affects the craniotomy-facial nerves and many organs mid-line.  because of Moebius , Daniel can not blink or close his eyes, and the eyes themselves do not dilate or function normally.   He has had multiple corneal ulcers which have resulted in scarring on his cornea.    Because of the chronic dry eyes, his eyes constantly feel as if you are rubbing them with sand paper.    So........ Fast-forward a bit and that takes us to about two months ago.    I was doing an interview with a person from Harvard who was doing her thesis on caregivers of Moebius Syndrome.   In doing that interview, we talked about Daniels problems with his eyes and she got in touch with her Professor who happens to be the number two doctor in the country for Opthomology.   In short, he is nothing less than brilliant! Anyway, back to the story.    so it turned out Dr. Hunter emailed me and wanted to see Daniel in Boston and he suggested we see Dr. Engle as well.   So who is Dr. Engle, right?   she is another brilliant specimen of a doctor!  She is the head of Nuerology at Boston Children's and also is on the board of the NIH.   To make a long story shorterISH, she and Dr. Hunter run a specialized clinic for kids with specific craniotomy-facial disorders which Daniel qualified for.   So, after getting the approval from the insurance, which was the second miracle, the first was that we were even being  seen by Dr. Hunter, we headed to Boston.    Now fast forward to yesterday's appointment with Dr.'s Hunter and Engle.......  We got there at 12:30 and stayed for 5 hours.  Every bit of that time was with the doctors.  Another doctor from New Zealand was there as well.   It was discovered that Daniel doesn't smell, well, CAN'T smell.   His olfactory bulb is missing.  Everything else we learned was very interesting.  However the most important thing was that Dr. Hunter made a call and got us into the Boston Foundation for Sight, third miracle, so Daniel could be assessed for the possibility of wearing prosthetic lenses to keep his eyes moist so he won't lose his sight down the road.     so at 7:30this morning we were at BFS in Needham Mass waiting to see the doctor.  It turns out, Daniel is a great candidate for this prosthetic, and he was even able to get one in his eye.    so now we just need to figure out funding.  The first step is checking with insurance to see if we can get them to pay for it.  if not there are some grants that would help, but each eye will cost $5000.  Yes, per eye.  It's impossible to put a price tag on your child's health and vision so if I need to sell a kidney, then so be it.   Either way, I am thankful that we have had this opportunity and I know that the Lord answers prayers!!!!

It's on its way!

After feeling like it was nothing more than a dream, I am beginning to feel as if my book is actually going to become a reality. 
The process has been a great learning experience for me and something that has challenged me and for that I am grateful.  
We are in the production stage of the book being published. It's gone through the outside editing, and the submissions  processing so far.   I talked with my Marketing coordinator yesterday and I think he is going to be a wealth of knowledge and help for getting the word out there.  He gave me a bunch of ideas and I've been working on some of them today.  Notice the new blog design?  Yeah, that is thanks to Mr. Guise. 

I have run from one end of my feelings to the other regarding this whole process.  It's humbling, it's scary and it's so very exciting.  In fact the word exciting doesn't even come close to explain how I am feeling right now. 

I will keep updating this blog and my facebook as the process evolves so keep checking back. 

Holy Shmokes it's been a long time.........I guess I've been super busy or something.  Nothing like writing a book to make a person not feel like writing a blog, or anything for that matter.   So here is a snapshot at what's been happening in my world in the last few months since I last wrote:
-I finished my book..... finally.  After over a year of planning, writing, editing, crying, more writing and on and on, I am finished.  For the most part.  That is not to say that I don't have more things to do with the book, I do.  It's just that it's brainless stuff.  At least it's at the publisher and out of my hot little hands. 

-We've endured some life changing happenings in our family.   It's taught us a lot about forgiveness and patience and resisting the devil.  I've seen a new side of my husband which has been encouraging to me throughout this whole ordeal and I've learned to appreciate him much more so if nothing else, that is a positive.
 
-We got the approval for Daniel to see two specialists in Boston dealing with Moebius Syndrome.  We were not sure the insurance would pay for it but they agreed to do it so we were happy.  Very happy.   The whole thing was very much a "God thing" .    I truly believe in "God things" and you should too.  Wow, I'm bossy, aren't I?   Anyway, the whole ball started rolling when I participated in  an interview regarding a research paper being done by a student at Harvard on the effects of caregiving and Moebius Syndrome.   Anyway, I sooooo moved the interviewer (said VERY  tongue and cheek)   that she contacted her Professor and Harvard who happens to be the Chief of Opthomology at Boston Children's.   He and his colleague Dr. Engle who is a Neurologist, have a clinic which deals with Cranio-facial disorders and Moebius Syndrome.   Dr. Hunter contacted me, and wanted to see Daniel.  SO.  That is how the ball got started.  And we are very excited.  We head to Boston in May and we are hoping it will be very helpful. 

-I'm learning more and more every day about per-judging people.   As a mother especially, I'm not real good at being objective to boyfriends or girlfriends.    I'm just being honest.   
Recently, my daughter reconnected with a boy who from pictures, I thought he resembled Vanilla Ice.   You know, the white, wanna-be black rapper of the 80's?   Anyway, in my head I was thinking "there is no way in heckarooni that I want my daughter dating this guy.  Nope, not going to happen, no way."   I was adamant that I did not want to meet him, etc.    Well, guess what?   I met him, and he is NOTHING like I thought.  Let me say that again.   NOTHING.    First of all, he doesn't even like rap music.   That right there makes him a 100% better than anyone else.  Second of all, he is a born again Christian.  Committed Christian.   Third of all, he is a Southern Gentleman.   And that, my dear friends, is the end of the story.  
Had I refused to meet him, I would have missed out on all the good he has in him,  just because I per-judged.   And all of that got me thinking about this:  Does Ty have some baggage?  Yes, he sure does.  Do I have baggage?  Does Abby have baggage?  Does everyone around have baggage?  YES!!!!  And to think someone elses baggage and yuck is worse than our own is stupid.  The important thing is if that person has learned from it, and more importantly repented from it.   That's  what's important to God so that is good enough for me.  And if it's not good enough for others, then oh well. 

on and on and on

Oh crud..... it's almost the end of 2011 and I haven't blogged in quite a while.  I figured I better get right on it because if the Mayans are right, 2012 will be ending abruptly.  And I really would like to be the one to get the last word in.....  my husband tells me I'm very proficient in that area.  I just tell him my tenacity is a fruit of the spirit.... but so far he isn't buying it.
I hope all of you had a very Merry Christmas.  I know we did.   It took days of wrapping and in 5.3 seconds, it was done.  Ok, well, maybe it took a couple hours, but still.  It didn't really seem like the wrapping to unwrapping ratio was very even.....
After waking up at 4:00 am on Christmas morning, I thought for SURE I would be able to sleep in today.  Nope.  My eyeballs popped open at 5:15.  Literally, they popped open.  It was like they had built in alarm clocks and my eye lids were like blinds that got yanked down and spun up out of control.  Even after I coaxed them back down, my brain was in gear writing my book, erasing, editing, retyping...etc.  Then the puppy, well, Justin's puppy needed to be taken out.  So, I got up.  Ron finally got up a little after 8am.  Not that I'm bitter or anything.........  but guess who will be driving home after the hockey game tonight at midnight?  Not me. 
So, about this hockey game.  Is it bad to hope that there are some knock down, drag  out fights?  It's kind of like watching Nascar..... it's only good if there are some good crashes.  Not that I want anyone to get hurt, but a few body checks into the glass might be a fun way to start the night. 
So I tuned into a few minutes of Hoarding.... Buried Alive on TLC this morning....  Yeah.  I seriously just don't understand.  I am sooooo the opposite of that.  I HATE clutter.  Hate it.   Let me say it once more.  I HAAATTTTEEEEE it.   In fact, I hate it so much that I'm probably the polar opposite of a hoarder and I'd probably be classified as a Thrower awayer.   I guess maybe I should pitch that as an idea for a show.   Thrown away.....nothing left.  Ok.... maybe that is not exactly true.  I don't throw everything away, but if it doesn't get taken care of, it's gone.    A chair that doesn't fit where I want it?   gone..... To many clothes in my drawer, or closet, even when they fit?  Gone....    Kids papers, toys, etc, etc...... so gone!   It's not that I'm organized, I'm really not.  It's just that I don't like STUFF.  If you aren't using it, then give it away, throw it away, burn it.  Why have it?  Ok.... I'm done.
Me thinks I've had to much coffee.........  but since I'm trying to get the last word in edge wise...... I'll go on.
Nope.... the brain just kicked off...... wow, that was awkward.

school is now in session

Oh the joys of the first day back to school after a long summer vacation!  Probably the majority of mothers across the country are smiling today. We are smiling because our children have gone back to school.   Not because we hate our children, and not because we are vile, evil, selfish beings.  It is simply because after a long summer of the kids being home, it is time to send them back from wenst they came.  Is that correct old english?  Either way, I believe school was developed by God, or at least by a very smart female so that mothers would not eat their young.  Even deer kick their fawns out the door at the end of summer.  
Now, it may seem that I am a cold and heartless mother.  I would argue that I'm not, but it may seem pointless.  I do enjoy the "me" time, I can not lie. I did enjoy the kids being home this summer.  For at least the first three weeks.  Then my job became more of referee and entertainment specialist and that is where I simply draw the line.  Just like most referee's, I felt like I had been thrown to a pack of wolves most of the time.  I truly sympathize with the black and white wearing men who get things thrown at them and the occasional "you suck ref" comments.  Not that my kids ever said those words out loud, but I knew they were thinking it.  That is another thing mothers do, we read minds.  It is a proven fact.  It's the roll of the eyes, the heavy sigh that tells us what kids are thinking.  They are thinking "ugh, when I have kids I will be a cool parent"  " when I have kids I won't be mean".   HA!  We all know that the joke is on them because as soon as a woman becomes a mother, we automatically become mean.  It's just nature. 
So, that being said......  I am not sad my kids went back to school today but I think it's time to go pick them up now and by Christmas I will be counting down the days until summer break is here.    

God and Dog....

How many of you have dogs?  For those of you who don't, or just don't like dogs, you may read this and assume I've lost my mind.  Well, you may be right.  I probably have lost it, but for those of you who do have dogs and actually like them, you will understand and rescue me from the insane asylum that I'll be locked away in.
Does anyone see the similarities of the word DOG and GOD?  If you hold them up to the mirror they would spell GOD and DOG..... get it?  So THAT little bit of craziness got me thinking about how much alike the two are.  Yes, I know, there are TONS of things that make them different.  Maybe I should list a few of those first.   #1- I'm pretty sure God doesn't smell like my dog.  At least I hope not, because it would be a huge bummer in Heaven if God smelled like He rolled in something rancid.
#2- God is wayyyyyy smarter than my dog.  He has to be.  Because my dog can't remember his tail isn't another animal trying to sneak up on him and God, in His spare time was able to create the whole universe.  I'm so THANKFUL that God is infinitely smarter!
#3- Lastly, or at least the last one that pops into my head is that dogs sleep A LOT!  If God slept as much as my dog we would all be in major trouble!  So it's probably safe to say that God probably doesn't sleep.  PHEW! 
NOW, on to why they are so much alike.  
First, let me say that I am NOT trying to be disrespectful.  Not at all.  If you hate dogs (shame on you) then you might suppose that I am.  How wrong you would be.  If you love dogs then you know what I say is the truth. 
#1- Dogs are faithful! No matter how many times we neglect them, they are willing to forgive us and welcome us back into their world. God is so much like that.  Psalm 89:33 says  "but I will not take my  love away from him, nor will I ever betray my faithfulness".    As humans, we are so unfaithful.  Whether it be in our prayer life and spending time with the Lord, or saying we will do something and not following through.  Thankfully, God isn't like that.  Whatever He says He will do, He will do.
#2- Dogs don't remember much, if anything.  We go away for the day and when we come home it's like we have been gone forever.  The four legged friends are hopping around like they haven't seen us in years.   How much is our God like that?  We walk away and yet when we finally remember to come "home" God is right there hopping up and down, so excited that we have returned.  Luke 15: 11-32 is a perfect example of how ready Christ is to welcome us back.  This passage is the one about the prodigal son coming home, knowing he screwed up and assuming (incorrectly) that his father wouldn't really want him back.  How wrong he was.  The passage tells us his father RAN to him!  How neat is that?  He didn't meander over and say, "what an idiot, I told you it wouldn't work out", NO.  His father RAN to him and wrapped his arms around him and welcomed him home without any condemnation.  That is the perfect example of our Lord!  Whenever we have walked away, or run away, He is ALWAYS there to RUN to us and welcome us home. 
#3- Dogs don't stay angry long and they sure don't hold onto grudges.  They are super forgiving, which is a really nice thing.  Well, guess what?  Yep.  So is GOD.  I am so thankful for God's forgiveness.  I have screwed up in big, HUGE ways sooooo many times that I would be in deep water if God hadn't forgiven me.  I'm sure by now, I would have drowned.  But, nope.  God is so cool that He forgives us and best of all, He doesn't hold our stupidness against us.  Micah 7:18,19 tells us "who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance?  You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy.  You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea"  also, 1 John 1:9 says "if we confess our sins he is faithful and just and will forgive us and purify us from all  unrighteousness"
How awesome.  How completely awesome.  Think about it! We screw up.  That is a given.  It's going to happen no matter how hard we try.  BUT,  if we realize we have sinned, and ask for Him to forgive us, He will.  Simple as that.  People don't always do that, cats don't do that.  But God ALWAYS does that. 
#4  Lastly.  Is that a word?  Odd little word.  Anyway,  the last thing that I can think of is the way dogs just love us.  They look at us with their big dark eyes, so full of love, no matter how ugly, rotten and grumpy we are.  When we have had a bad day, they just snuggle up to us, or quietly put their head next to us to let us know they care.  The God I love and serve is so much like that.   He loves us so unconditionally, and completely.  One of my favorite verses is Jeremiah 31:3  " I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness"        Another great verse is:
  Titus 3: 4-5 “But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit.”         
But best of all is John 3:16 which says "for God so loved the world, that He gave us His son.  That who ever believes in Him, will not perish, but have everlasting life"
Did you get that?  I sometimes forget.  But this verse spells it out so clearly.  God loved us SO MUCH.  So much people!  That HE (God) gave us His ONE AND ONLY son.  Not number 5 or 8, but His ONLY one!   All we have to do is believe that Christ died for us because we are sinners and we get to live with Him forever.  Not until he gets sick of us, or wants to trade us in, but FOREVER!  Cool?  I think so. 
So, I just think it's cool that my smelly dog reminds me of how awesome and great my God is.  Maybe it's a silly analogy, and slightly odd, but isn't that just like God to use simple things to remind us that He is in everything? Even our four legged friends.
.

arizona, desert disasters and cucumber porcupines

This morning I was thinking about a trip I took one time to Phoenix Arizona by myself.   For those of you who have never been to Arizona or at least the Phoenix area, it is a vast expanse of desert, surrounded by mountains and smack in the middle is a city.  I really have never seen anything like it.  It is absolutely one of the most beautiful, and friendly places I have ever come across.  While I was there, I had some time to myself and decided to take a walk in the desert.  It really wasn't the smartest thing to do actually, but because I rarely think ahead, I took off for a place to park the car and headed out into the sand and cactus.   The desert is a very peaceful place and quite beautiful.  Tiny lizards scurry from cactus to cactus dancing gently on the spines without worry of being impaled.  Only the occasional overhead jet or a voice far in the distance was the only sound.  However,  I really should have not taken my cue from the the silly little lizards on the danger from cactus spines.  As I was walking, I noticed these groups of small ground cactus with individual balls coming off them.  They each had spines on them and they resembled a cucumber crossed with a porcupine also known as a Jumping Chola.  I noticed some of these cucumber porcupine had fallen off some of the plants and so in my head I thought "self, you should pick up these things with spikes and take them home to your family".  Well, see, that is where the two halves of my brain fail to connect.  The first thought should have been for me to keep my hands to myself, and the other thought should have been, why would anyone want to take a tiny porcupine home to her family?  Neither of those thoughts even flashed across my brain. Not even for a second.   Nope.  Instead I reached down to pick up the prickly cucumber and as I did it launched itself at my hand.   The thing had literally come to life.    In an instant it had attached itself to my thumb, sticking it's spikes into the flesh and bone.  Without thinking I flicked my hand as hard as I could, shaking the attacker onto my exposed thigh.  So now, I have thorns and spikes coming from my thumb and also protruding from my thigh.  The pain was intense and knowing I was alone in the desert, I began hobbling back to the car.  Along the way I passed to older men who I am convinced saw my plight and began snickering as soon as I had passed, probably mumbling something like "dumb yankee girl, didn't her mama ever tell her to keep her hands to herself?"   After getting back to my nephew's apartment, I began the arduous task of pulling spikes, built like fishhooks, out of my leg and thumb.   It was one of the most painful things I've ever had happen.  The worst part was that I was still pulling out spikes 6 months later after they had festered and worked themselves to the surface.  Nothing like holding on to vacation memories. 
When I tried to relate it to life, I began to think of how much like my walk with the Lord is like that.   So many times I just take off into the desert by myself without any thought of the dangers and then spend months trying to fix the mess I got myself into.   If I had listened to the holy spirit and not headed off into the unknown without protection or a "guide", I could have saved a lot of heartache.  God's plan for us is for good and not disaster, to give us a future and a hope.   Jeremiah 29:11   God's plan isn't to let us get stuck with thorns in a desert, his best plan isn't to let us keep picking festering thorns out of our thumbs and thigh for 6 months.  His best plan is for us to follow Him.  Let Him guide us.  We just have to be willing to stop and listen. 

Motherhood, mayhem and all that jazz.......

Motherhood. It takes you from the highest highs to the lowest lows in a matter of hours and sometimes minutes.  If nothing else, I've learned how much my mom loves me, and how many times I must have broken her heart and  I've learned all of it just by being a mother. However,  I can also say, that there is not one single second that I regret being a mom.  The past three months have been a whirlwind of happiness, stress, sadness and excited expectation.  June brought tears.  LOTS of tears.  The pain I felt in my heart during June was almost more than I could bear.  It was during June that I learned most about what it means most about the depth of love a mother has for her child.  It's not a love that can be explained.  It is a love that is part of you, deep within yourself that is woven into every single cell and neuron.  It is a love that can't be broken no matter how much the selfish heart wants it to be.   July brought stress.  Stress of two family vacations, a wedding being planned and all the other day to day stresses a mother has.  Before I knew it August was upon me and the wedding was fast approaching.  It's bitter sweet to know your son is getting married.  Knowing that forever forward, his heart will belong to another woman.  Someone who didn't give birth to him.  Someone who didn't wake up with him for late night feedings, someone who wasn't there to rub his back when he was sick.  Although it somehow is ok, knowing that the woman he has given his whole heart to is also the woman who has given her heart to him and will be there to make so many more memories and that will make my heart sing.  Watching the light in his eye sparkle with adoration and love when she walked down the isle took every single fear of losing him away.   Any fear I had was replaced with a new sense of hope and excitement for all that they will share in a lifetime. 
I've had a couple people tell me that my kids are so nice, so kind  and well behaved and how do I do it?  It sounds like an  easy answer when I tell them it's God.  I really don't know what else TO say.  It really is as simple as that.  It's not that I didn't have anything at all to do with it.  I guess I did.  It just always freaks me out a bit when I say that out loud though because I wouldn't ever want to come across as conceited or arrogant.  The only way I can take any credit is to give it back to God.  I feel like being a mother has been and is a gift.  It is all I ever wanted to do.  I've had other ambitions, but my first and formost joy and goal in life was to be a mom.  It's not that I haven't had my moments and even days of wanting to run away or find a full time job outside the home, but when it comes right down to it, being a mom is by far the most rewarding job I could have ever had.  I guess the only thing I can think of that I did was to try, and when I say try, I mean just that.  TRY, to instill the fear of God into them.  Not the kind of fear like "oh crap God's going to hate me if I do this" but the kind of fear that they know that God knows what they are doing, even when I don't.   The other thing I hope they learned is that I totally believe the bible verse that says "you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you!".  I truly and honestly believe that everyone, most of all my kids, can do ANY that they desire to do AS LONG as they seek God's will.   If someone wants to take out trash all day long, then go for it, if it will be honoring to God.  Maybe that is why I don't get too freaked out when the kids don't want to live right next door or in the same town as me. I know parents that have to have say in every part of their kids lives.  Sometimes it is even under the guise of "they are still under my umbrella of protection".  Well, sorry, but it's time to pack up that umbrella and stick it in the closet because how the heck can they become what God wants THEM to be unless they can test the water themselves?  We can either TRUST God that He knows how to take care of them and that we have done our jobs, or we can keep holding on and never let them figure out who they are or what the Lord has for THEIR lives.  We had our chance, it's time to let our kids have theirs and make a few mistakes once in a while.  Mistakes are ok.  It's what we do with our mistakes that matter.  If we learn from them then great.  If it draws us closer to the Lord then that is even better. 
Now..... do I have it all together?  Nope.  Have I made about a million mistakes as a parent?  Yep!  It really is probably more like a million and two.  So.... how did I end up with great kids?  It's what I've been saying right along.  It's the Lord.  He must love me or something.  And even better,  I know He loves my kids and wants better for them than even I could ask for. 

It's been a long time baby!   There has been so much going on around here that I just haven't taken the time to stop and smell the roses......  not to mention the fact that until this week it hasn't been warm enough to even see or smell anything blooming outside!  Finally I think we are on an uptrend and have spring at our fingertips.   
Well, a few things on my ol brain.  The family reunion is out for my family and I.   Which sucks, but some things just can't be helped, I guess......  I've gone round and round in my head trying to figure out how to make it happen, but i keep coming up to the other ten things on my plate that need to be done.  Namely, get my book done, paint the house, build two porches(for insurance purposes), and the list goes on and on and on....... 
Secondly, the wedding is in full swing.  It's been odd.  On so many levels.....  But a good odd for the most part.  A couple little stray hiccups with certain people who will remain nameless, but it's been good. I absolutely LOVE my future daughter in law, Jake has a great job and is graduating in two weeks, they got a great apartment, and I'm getting along really well with my ex and his wife.  How could life get any better?  That last one is actually the nicest part.  I think i'd even consider his wife a friend.  That is huge for me....... Life is too short to stay mad at someone or to be jealous of someone just because you're insecure.  Which was me in a nut shell........  Not that i'd fit into a nut shell.....  unless it was a very large nut.....  anyway........  I'll move on.
And last, we are excavating the ditch behind our house that is turning out to be a huge mess.  I'm not sure why I didn't think that dirt, water and my husband on a backhoe wouldn't produce mud,......... but it did, and is, and probably will most of the summer.  BUT, hopefully it will keep the water away from out house and when it's all said and done, the landscaping will look pretty.......  unless I break my hand moving cinder-blocks around, like I almost did yesterday.  Yeah, words of wisdom..... don't try pulling a load of cinder-blocks on a cart while driving a tractor down hill.  It WILL flip and smash your hand between the blocks and tractor. 
But, I know I'm growing, because I didn't yell, or swear.  So, it really was a good day.

starfish

Our recent trip to Florida was amazing!!!!  It is funny to me how much I forget Florida feels like home.  Flying in, I felt like I was back in my home town, which is weird because I only lived there for five or six years when I was little and another year after I was married.  Maybe it's because it's the last memories of where I lived with my dad or because I've gone back to visit so much since we moved north.... who knows.  I just know it feels like home. 
Justin was remembering a trip we took to Florida a few   years ago, actually, it must have been at least 5 years ago now.  Anyway, on that trip, I took the kids to the beach and we were fortunate enough to find sea stars, or starfish as they are commonly called.  Anyway, we all were scooping them up, happily gathering handfuls in all sizes.   Not knowing what to do with them, we put them on a pizza box and let them dry........  yes, we murdered them.  After we had our fill at the beach we went back to my sisters and showed her our precious starfish, with some of them having tried crawling to the nearest water source.  It was actually quite pathetic when you think about it.  At the time, I honestly didn't even think about them dying.  I just thought they were beautiful and it wasn't until they had tried crawling away that I thought of them as actual living things.......  Anyway.  To make a long story short, my sister informed me it was against the law to catch and kill starfish.  Not to mention traveling across state lines, transporting them.   OOPS!   However, the starfish had the last laugh, because just like any living creature, they STINK when they die and especially in a hot car.   That trip home was memorable.

One would assume that when you get a writing contract, it would be a piece of cake to sign.....well, this one is stressing big time.  I've gone over the contract with a fine tooth comb and it sounds great..... but I have questions.  Most of them are stupid, not that important, but still they are questions.

Also I'm thinking about the commitment.  That doesn't necessarily freak me out.  It doesn't.  I love to travel so going around for book signings won't be a problem.  I'm just worried that I'm not going to get the manuscript finished by my deadline.  Actually, it shouldn't be a problem. I work better under pressure.  It must be a Bowker thing.... although it might be a Rafferty thing.  I've got stubborn genes from both sets of parents, so that makes me doomed. 

I think I'm over-thinking this whole thing... which is quite funny because I normally just act before I think.  So i guess it's probably a good think I'm thinking at all.

Part 6

When Mom started going to high school, she was allowed to wear low cut oxford type shoes instead of the high top brown shoes she had worn all through her younger years. The look of the low cut oxfords were only slightly better and it still wasn't what everyone else was wearing at the time. Unfortunately, out of necessity, mom needed to wear shoes that helped her feet rather than shoes that looked good. My Mom tells of times when she had cut the sides of her brown shoes and tucked in the sides to make them look like the other kids. I think we often forget that it doesn't matter what era a person lived in, there were certain fashionable styles and most everyone wanted to look the part. My mom was no different.
When mom was starting her year sophmore year, her friend “Nancy Huse” and she went shopping for clothes for school. Nancy tried on a stylish pair of 'buck' which were all the rage at that time. The were similar to oxfords, but suede and the 'in' thing to have. Mom decided to try on a pair, and decided that she would get them. She convinced herself that she could wear them and they would be comfortable.
At home, Mom showed her parents the shoes and convinced them as well that she would be able to wear them. For two years Mom wore those shoes, even though her feet hurt more and more every day. She knew it was because of not wearing proper shoes, but she didn't want to because she was afraid of what they might say. She did her best keeping her secret until one Saturday right before her senior year. There was a family picnic at Sullivan's Monument with other families from a group that Grandma and Grandpa Rafferty belonged to. A group of them were playing softball and Mom really wanted to play as well. Everything was going ok until it was Mom's turn at the base. She hit the ball and started to run to first base but her feet were hurting so badly that she collapsed to the ground in tears. My Grandparents took one look at her swollen and red feet and got her into the new Guthrie Clinic in Sayre.
Soon after Mom had her last surgery when she was ten, Dr. Alben had retired and the Rafferty's hadn't found another Doctor that was as good and took as good care of Mom as the previous Dr. had. They were very thankful to find this doctor in Sayre. The new Doctor said that Mom absolutely had to have special shoes made for her. This was quite a concern for my Mom because she didn't want to have to wear ugly shoes again. The Dr. assured her that they had people right at Sayre who could make them look fashionable.
It was during one of these visits to Guthrie that the Doctor asked Mom what her plans after high school were. Mom said she wanted to be a nurse but the doctor said she could never do something that required her to be on her feet all the time. He suggested that she try something else in the Medical field like a Medical Secretary. She thought about it and decided she would give it a try.
It probably was presumptuous for Mom to even assume she was going to college, but it just never occurred to her that she wouldn't. Most of her classmates were planning on it, but looking back, Mom realizes that her parents had to have borrowed the $1000.oo that it took to send her that first year.
Mom went for her college interview but the man in admissions wondered why she wanted to go into the medical secretary program because she only had one typing class but had already taken 3 years of sciences and math. He told her she should take Medical technology and after a quick thought, she decided she would.

The week after graduation from High school my mom and 6 or 7 of her girlfriends were invited to a friends cottage on Keuka Lake for a week. They spent the week water skiing, swimming and enjoying being recent graduates. When Mom had been in school, she had never been boy crazy partly because she was very unsure of herself and didn't want to go out much. Mom doesn't think the guys disliked her, but no one ever asked her out and she is sure it had everything to do with her feet and how she looked. At one point while at the cottage, one of Mom's friends said that there was this guy across the lake whose parents had a cottage there. She said he was a good looker, but wasn't there often, but they took a ride over by the cottage, but nobody was there.
I will tell you the significance of this later.
　

PICTURES

THE ONE ROOM SCHOOL HOUSE
Mom is in the second row from the bottom, third one in. Her sister Barb is in the Top row, first one. Her brother Bob is the last boy in the top row.

FUN IN THE SNOW WITH HER BROTHERS AND SISTER

MOM AND HER SISTERS AND BROTHERS SITTING ON THE DOCK
notice the brown high top shoes mom is wearing.... she is the one sticking out her tongue