Motherhood, mayhem and all that jazz.......

Motherhood. It takes you from the highest highs to the lowest lows in a matter of hours and sometimes minutes.  If nothing else, I've learned how much my mom loves me, and how many times I must have broken her heart and  I've learned all of it just by being a mother. However,  I can also say, that there is not one single second that I regret being a mom.  The past three months have been a whirlwind of happiness, stress, sadness and excited expectation.  June brought tears.  LOTS of tears.  The pain I felt in my heart during June was almost more than I could bear.  It was during June that I learned most about what it means most about the depth of love a mother has for her child.  It's not a love that can be explained.  It is a love that is part of you, deep within yourself that is woven into every single cell and neuron.  It is a love that can't be broken no matter how much the selfish heart wants it to be.   July brought stress.  Stress of two family vacations, a wedding being planned and all the other day to day stresses a mother has.  Before I knew it August was upon me and the wedding was fast approaching.  It's bitter sweet to know your son is getting married.  Knowing that forever forward, his heart will belong to another woman.  Someone who didn't give birth to him.  Someone who didn't wake up with him for late night feedings, someone who wasn't there to rub his back when he was sick.  Although it somehow is ok, knowing that the woman he has given his whole heart to is also the woman who has given her heart to him and will be there to make so many more memories and that will make my heart sing.  Watching the light in his eye sparkle with adoration and love when she walked down the isle took every single fear of losing him away.   Any fear I had was replaced with a new sense of hope and excitement for all that they will share in a lifetime. 
I've had a couple people tell me that my kids are so nice, so kind  and well behaved and how do I do it?  It sounds like an  easy answer when I tell them it's God.  I really don't know what else TO say.  It really is as simple as that.  It's not that I didn't have anything at all to do with it.  I guess I did.  It just always freaks me out a bit when I say that out loud though because I wouldn't ever want to come across as conceited or arrogant.  The only way I can take any credit is to give it back to God.  I feel like being a mother has been and is a gift.  It is all I ever wanted to do.  I've had other ambitions, but my first and formost joy and goal in life was to be a mom.  It's not that I haven't had my moments and even days of wanting to run away or find a full time job outside the home, but when it comes right down to it, being a mom is by far the most rewarding job I could have ever had.  I guess the only thing I can think of that I did was to try, and when I say try, I mean just that.  TRY, to instill the fear of God into them.  Not the kind of fear like "oh crap God's going to hate me if I do this" but the kind of fear that they know that God knows what they are doing, even when I don't.   The other thing I hope they learned is that I totally believe the bible verse that says "you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you!".  I truly and honestly believe that everyone, most of all my kids, can do ANY that they desire to do AS LONG as they seek God's will.   If someone wants to take out trash all day long, then go for it, if it will be honoring to God.  Maybe that is why I don't get too freaked out when the kids don't want to live right next door or in the same town as me. I know parents that have to have say in every part of their kids lives.  Sometimes it is even under the guise of "they are still under my umbrella of protection".  Well, sorry, but it's time to pack up that umbrella and stick it in the closet because how the heck can they become what God wants THEM to be unless they can test the water themselves?  We can either TRUST God that He knows how to take care of them and that we have done our jobs, or we can keep holding on and never let them figure out who they are or what the Lord has for THEIR lives.  We had our chance, it's time to let our kids have theirs and make a few mistakes once in a while.  Mistakes are ok.  It's what we do with our mistakes that matter.  If we learn from them then great.  If it draws us closer to the Lord then that is even better. 
Now..... do I have it all together?  Nope.  Have I made about a million mistakes as a parent?  Yep!  It really is probably more like a million and two.  So.... how did I end up with great kids?  It's what I've been saying right along.  It's the Lord.  He must love me or something.  And even better,  I know He loves my kids and wants better for them than even I could ask for.