arizona, desert disasters and cucumber porcupines

This morning I was thinking about a trip I took one time to Phoenix Arizona by myself.   For those of you who have never been to Arizona or at least the Phoenix area, it is a vast expanse of desert, surrounded by mountains and smack in the middle is a city.  I really have never seen anything like it.  It is absolutely one of the most beautiful, and friendly places I have ever come across.  While I was there, I had some time to myself and decided to take a walk in the desert.  It really wasn't the smartest thing to do actually, but because I rarely think ahead, I took off for a place to park the car and headed out into the sand and cactus.   The desert is a very peaceful place and quite beautiful.  Tiny lizards scurry from cactus to cactus dancing gently on the spines without worry of being impaled.  Only the occasional overhead jet or a voice far in the distance was the only sound.  However,  I really should have not taken my cue from the the silly little lizards on the danger from cactus spines.  As I was walking, I noticed these groups of small ground cactus with individual balls coming off them.  They each had spines on them and they resembled a cucumber crossed with a porcupine also known as a Jumping Chola.  I noticed some of these cucumber porcupine had fallen off some of the plants and so in my head I thought "self, you should pick up these things with spikes and take them home to your family".  Well, see, that is where the two halves of my brain fail to connect.  The first thought should have been for me to keep my hands to myself, and the other thought should have been, why would anyone want to take a tiny porcupine home to her family?  Neither of those thoughts even flashed across my brain. Not even for a second.   Nope.  Instead I reached down to pick up the prickly cucumber and as I did it launched itself at my hand.   The thing had literally come to life.    In an instant it had attached itself to my thumb, sticking it's spikes into the flesh and bone.  Without thinking I flicked my hand as hard as I could, shaking the attacker onto my exposed thigh.  So now, I have thorns and spikes coming from my thumb and also protruding from my thigh.  The pain was intense and knowing I was alone in the desert, I began hobbling back to the car.  Along the way I passed to older men who I am convinced saw my plight and began snickering as soon as I had passed, probably mumbling something like "dumb yankee girl, didn't her mama ever tell her to keep her hands to herself?"   After getting back to my nephew's apartment, I began the arduous task of pulling spikes, built like fishhooks, out of my leg and thumb.   It was one of the most painful things I've ever had happen.  The worst part was that I was still pulling out spikes 6 months later after they had festered and worked themselves to the surface.  Nothing like holding on to vacation memories. 
When I tried to relate it to life, I began to think of how much like my walk with the Lord is like that.   So many times I just take off into the desert by myself without any thought of the dangers and then spend months trying to fix the mess I got myself into.   If I had listened to the holy spirit and not headed off into the unknown without protection or a "guide", I could have saved a lot of heartache.  God's plan for us is for good and not disaster, to give us a future and a hope.   Jeremiah 29:11   God's plan isn't to let us get stuck with thorns in a desert, his best plan isn't to let us keep picking festering thorns out of our thumbs and thigh for 6 months.  His best plan is for us to follow Him.  Let Him guide us.  We just have to be willing to stop and listen. 

Motherhood, mayhem and all that jazz.......

Motherhood. It takes you from the highest highs to the lowest lows in a matter of hours and sometimes minutes.  If nothing else, I've learned how much my mom loves me, and how many times I must have broken her heart and  I've learned all of it just by being a mother. However,  I can also say, that there is not one single second that I regret being a mom.  The past three months have been a whirlwind of happiness, stress, sadness and excited expectation.  June brought tears.  LOTS of tears.  The pain I felt in my heart during June was almost more than I could bear.  It was during June that I learned most about what it means most about the depth of love a mother has for her child.  It's not a love that can be explained.  It is a love that is part of you, deep within yourself that is woven into every single cell and neuron.  It is a love that can't be broken no matter how much the selfish heart wants it to be.   July brought stress.  Stress of two family vacations, a wedding being planned and all the other day to day stresses a mother has.  Before I knew it August was upon me and the wedding was fast approaching.  It's bitter sweet to know your son is getting married.  Knowing that forever forward, his heart will belong to another woman.  Someone who didn't give birth to him.  Someone who didn't wake up with him for late night feedings, someone who wasn't there to rub his back when he was sick.  Although it somehow is ok, knowing that the woman he has given his whole heart to is also the woman who has given her heart to him and will be there to make so many more memories and that will make my heart sing.  Watching the light in his eye sparkle with adoration and love when she walked down the isle took every single fear of losing him away.   Any fear I had was replaced with a new sense of hope and excitement for all that they will share in a lifetime. 
I've had a couple people tell me that my kids are so nice, so kind  and well behaved and how do I do it?  It sounds like an  easy answer when I tell them it's God.  I really don't know what else TO say.  It really is as simple as that.  It's not that I didn't have anything at all to do with it.  I guess I did.  It just always freaks me out a bit when I say that out loud though because I wouldn't ever want to come across as conceited or arrogant.  The only way I can take any credit is to give it back to God.  I feel like being a mother has been and is a gift.  It is all I ever wanted to do.  I've had other ambitions, but my first and formost joy and goal in life was to be a mom.  It's not that I haven't had my moments and even days of wanting to run away or find a full time job outside the home, but when it comes right down to it, being a mom is by far the most rewarding job I could have ever had.  I guess the only thing I can think of that I did was to try, and when I say try, I mean just that.  TRY, to instill the fear of God into them.  Not the kind of fear like "oh crap God's going to hate me if I do this" but the kind of fear that they know that God knows what they are doing, even when I don't.   The other thing I hope they learned is that I totally believe the bible verse that says "you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you!".  I truly and honestly believe that everyone, most of all my kids, can do ANY that they desire to do AS LONG as they seek God's will.   If someone wants to take out trash all day long, then go for it, if it will be honoring to God.  Maybe that is why I don't get too freaked out when the kids don't want to live right next door or in the same town as me. I know parents that have to have say in every part of their kids lives.  Sometimes it is even under the guise of "they are still under my umbrella of protection".  Well, sorry, but it's time to pack up that umbrella and stick it in the closet because how the heck can they become what God wants THEM to be unless they can test the water themselves?  We can either TRUST God that He knows how to take care of them and that we have done our jobs, or we can keep holding on and never let them figure out who they are or what the Lord has for THEIR lives.  We had our chance, it's time to let our kids have theirs and make a few mistakes once in a while.  Mistakes are ok.  It's what we do with our mistakes that matter.  If we learn from them then great.  If it draws us closer to the Lord then that is even better. 
Now..... do I have it all together?  Nope.  Have I made about a million mistakes as a parent?  Yep!  It really is probably more like a million and two.  So.... how did I end up with great kids?  It's what I've been saying right along.  It's the Lord.  He must love me or something.  And even better,  I know He loves my kids and wants better for them than even I could ask for. 

It's been a long time baby!   There has been so much going on around here that I just haven't taken the time to stop and smell the roses......  not to mention the fact that until this week it hasn't been warm enough to even see or smell anything blooming outside!  Finally I think we are on an uptrend and have spring at our fingertips.   
Well, a few things on my ol brain.  The family reunion is out for my family and I.   Which sucks, but some things just can't be helped, I guess......  I've gone round and round in my head trying to figure out how to make it happen, but i keep coming up to the other ten things on my plate that need to be done.  Namely, get my book done, paint the house, build two porches(for insurance purposes), and the list goes on and on and on....... 
Secondly, the wedding is in full swing.  It's been odd.  On so many levels.....  But a good odd for the most part.  A couple little stray hiccups with certain people who will remain nameless, but it's been good. I absolutely LOVE my future daughter in law, Jake has a great job and is graduating in two weeks, they got a great apartment, and I'm getting along really well with my ex and his wife.  How could life get any better?  That last one is actually the nicest part.  I think i'd even consider his wife a friend.  That is huge for me....... Life is too short to stay mad at someone or to be jealous of someone just because you're insecure.  Which was me in a nut shell........  Not that i'd fit into a nut shell.....  unless it was a very large nut.....  anyway........  I'll move on.
And last, we are excavating the ditch behind our house that is turning out to be a huge mess.  I'm not sure why I didn't think that dirt, water and my husband on a backhoe wouldn't produce mud,......... but it did, and is, and probably will most of the summer.  BUT, hopefully it will keep the water away from out house and when it's all said and done, the landscaping will look pretty.......  unless I break my hand moving cinder-blocks around, like I almost did yesterday.  Yeah, words of wisdom..... don't try pulling a load of cinder-blocks on a cart while driving a tractor down hill.  It WILL flip and smash your hand between the blocks and tractor. 
But, I know I'm growing, because I didn't yell, or swear.  So, it really was a good day.

starfish

Our recent trip to Florida was amazing!!!!  It is funny to me how much I forget Florida feels like home.  Flying in, I felt like I was back in my home town, which is weird because I only lived there for five or six years when I was little and another year after I was married.  Maybe it's because it's the last memories of where I lived with my dad or because I've gone back to visit so much since we moved north.... who knows.  I just know it feels like home. 
Justin was remembering a trip we took to Florida a few   years ago, actually, it must have been at least 5 years ago now.  Anyway, on that trip, I took the kids to the beach and we were fortunate enough to find sea stars, or starfish as they are commonly called.  Anyway, we all were scooping them up, happily gathering handfuls in all sizes.   Not knowing what to do with them, we put them on a pizza box and let them dry........  yes, we murdered them.  After we had our fill at the beach we went back to my sisters and showed her our precious starfish, with some of them having tried crawling to the nearest water source.  It was actually quite pathetic when you think about it.  At the time, I honestly didn't even think about them dying.  I just thought they were beautiful and it wasn't until they had tried crawling away that I thought of them as actual living things.......  Anyway.  To make a long story short, my sister informed me it was against the law to catch and kill starfish.  Not to mention traveling across state lines, transporting them.   OOPS!   However, the starfish had the last laugh, because just like any living creature, they STINK when they die and especially in a hot car.   That trip home was memorable.

One would assume that when you get a writing contract, it would be a piece of cake to sign.....well, this one is stressing big time.  I've gone over the contract with a fine tooth comb and it sounds great..... but I have questions.  Most of them are stupid, not that important, but still they are questions.

Also I'm thinking about the commitment.  That doesn't necessarily freak me out.  It doesn't.  I love to travel so going around for book signings won't be a problem.  I'm just worried that I'm not going to get the manuscript finished by my deadline.  Actually, it shouldn't be a problem. I work better under pressure.  It must be a Bowker thing.... although it might be a Rafferty thing.  I've got stubborn genes from both sets of parents, so that makes me doomed. 

I think I'm over-thinking this whole thing... which is quite funny because I normally just act before I think.  So i guess it's probably a good think I'm thinking at all.

Part 6

When Mom started going to high school, she was allowed to wear low cut oxford type shoes instead of the high top brown shoes she had worn all through her younger years. The look of the low cut oxfords were only slightly better and it still wasn't what everyone else was wearing at the time. Unfortunately, out of necessity, mom needed to wear shoes that helped her feet rather than shoes that looked good. My Mom tells of times when she had cut the sides of her brown shoes and tucked in the sides to make them look like the other kids. I think we often forget that it doesn't matter what era a person lived in, there were certain fashionable styles and most everyone wanted to look the part. My mom was no different.
When mom was starting her year sophmore year, her friend “Nancy Huse” and she went shopping for clothes for school. Nancy tried on a stylish pair of 'buck' which were all the rage at that time. The were similar to oxfords, but suede and the 'in' thing to have. Mom decided to try on a pair, and decided that she would get them. She convinced herself that she could wear them and they would be comfortable.
At home, Mom showed her parents the shoes and convinced them as well that she would be able to wear them. For two years Mom wore those shoes, even though her feet hurt more and more every day. She knew it was because of not wearing proper shoes, but she didn't want to because she was afraid of what they might say. She did her best keeping her secret until one Saturday right before her senior year. There was a family picnic at Sullivan's Monument with other families from a group that Grandma and Grandpa Rafferty belonged to. A group of them were playing softball and Mom really wanted to play as well. Everything was going ok until it was Mom's turn at the base. She hit the ball and started to run to first base but her feet were hurting so badly that she collapsed to the ground in tears. My Grandparents took one look at her swollen and red feet and got her into the new Guthrie Clinic in Sayre.
Soon after Mom had her last surgery when she was ten, Dr. Alben had retired and the Rafferty's hadn't found another Doctor that was as good and took as good care of Mom as the previous Dr. had. They were very thankful to find this doctor in Sayre. The new Doctor said that Mom absolutely had to have special shoes made for her. This was quite a concern for my Mom because she didn't want to have to wear ugly shoes again. The Dr. assured her that they had people right at Sayre who could make them look fashionable.
It was during one of these visits to Guthrie that the Doctor asked Mom what her plans after high school were. Mom said she wanted to be a nurse but the doctor said she could never do something that required her to be on her feet all the time. He suggested that she try something else in the Medical field like a Medical Secretary. She thought about it and decided she would give it a try.
It probably was presumptuous for Mom to even assume she was going to college, but it just never occurred to her that she wouldn't. Most of her classmates were planning on it, but looking back, Mom realizes that her parents had to have borrowed the $1000.oo that it took to send her that first year.
Mom went for her college interview but the man in admissions wondered why she wanted to go into the medical secretary program because she only had one typing class but had already taken 3 years of sciences and math. He told her she should take Medical technology and after a quick thought, she decided she would.

The week after graduation from High school my mom and 6 or 7 of her girlfriends were invited to a friends cottage on Keuka Lake for a week. They spent the week water skiing, swimming and enjoying being recent graduates. When Mom had been in school, she had never been boy crazy partly because she was very unsure of herself and didn't want to go out much. Mom doesn't think the guys disliked her, but no one ever asked her out and she is sure it had everything to do with her feet and how she looked. At one point while at the cottage, one of Mom's friends said that there was this guy across the lake whose parents had a cottage there. She said he was a good looker, but wasn't there often, but they took a ride over by the cottage, but nobody was there.
I will tell you the significance of this later.
　

PICTURES

THE ONE ROOM SCHOOL HOUSE
Mom is in the second row from the bottom, third one in. Her sister Barb is in the Top row, first one. Her brother Bob is the last boy in the top row.

FUN IN THE SNOW WITH HER BROTHERS AND SISTER

MOM AND HER SISTERS AND BROTHERS SITTING ON THE DOCK
notice the brown high top shoes mom is wearing.... she is the one sticking out her tongue