I had to take Dan to the dentist today.  It actually wasn't bad and the whole way home he kept thanking me for taking him, so that was pretty darn cute in my book.    On the way up he asked how cows made their milk.  I told him, uh, i'm not sure, but they chew grass and then the milk forms in their boobies.  Yeah, I know, kind of crude, but I really couldn't for the life of me figure out how to explain how it's actually done in terms that a 9 year old could understand.   In all seriousness, he said " well, do they eat lots of snow?"   I thought that was cute. 
About fifteen minutes down the road,, the radio started getting really fuzzy because I was gettting out of range.  The lady singing on the radio started to cut in and out and again, from the backseat, danny says " boy, she sure does have bad hiccups!".......  gosh I love that kid!  He just cracks me up all the time.

I also heard an interview with Anita Renfroe and her husband.  They were talking about Valentines day and being married, etc.....  Anyway, they were talking about their kids and Anita said "they were our craft projects".   I thought that was cute.   However, as I'm sitting her listening to my kids argue and fight I'm thinking that my kids are my science experiments gone terribly wrong!  SHEESH!!!  I wish there was a magic pill to make them get along.  I think I might have them sit and hold hands until they can talk nicely to each other.  I used to do that with Jake and Abby.  It seemed to work, albeit slightly, but it worked.  

I'm really thinking that spring needs to come soon.  Either that or I'm admitting myself to an insane asylum.  I think the one I might choose is in Key West on a remote island with no cell service.    It's called 'crazy shack for those suffering from  kidsdrivemenutsitis'.   In the meantime, I guess I'll just sit here listening to the latest news of 'she touched my stuff' and ' he took my bendaroos' and 'they are breathing my air'.....  oh, the last one was me......

HA!   So, I took down my last post, so if you read it, ok.  Not a big deal.  If you didn't read it, then you were too late. =)     A little birdie told me I might be too harsh and I had to agree so I decided to take it down.  Right after I wrote it, I thought to myself, "self, that sounds a little bitchy"  but you know, I rarely listen to myself so I left it up and thankfully that little birdie loved me enough to mention it.  So thanks little bird.

SO, i feel the need to talk about two very important people in my life.   I have to admit that I'm in love with two men.  Actually I have five men in my life, but I'll just focus on two right now. 
I'm talking about my two little boys that have now gone and grown up to be men.  I really can't believe the nerve of these two.  I told them not to do it, but once again they didn't listen.

Justin is 21 and Jake isn't far behind at 19.  It's all so crazy to think that  not too long ago I was helping them put on their snowsuits to play outside or carting Justin to little league and Jake to soccer. Now they have their own cars, pay their own insurance and pretty much are self-sufficient.
I'm probably not the only mother in the world that swells with pride each time their kids do something amazing, but it always makes me  honestly thank God for the men they have become.   Mostly because I know that I failed as a mom more times in the day than there were minutes on the clock and some days I probably should have just been sent away.  I guess God's grace is way more sufficient than I realize. 
Jake is going to graduate this May with an associates in Culinary and will make the best Chef any place he decides to work.  He has this way about him that he can walk into a room and everyone falls in love with him.  Partly because he won't stop moving and doing something funny so unless you are dead or dull, you have to laugh.  There isn't anything that he can't do once he sets his mind to it.  It's quite amazing!
It's not always been easy for Jake or with Jake either.  His activity level is one cause of annoyance for a mother who dreams of quiet at the end of the day, but had I known what a cool dude he would be at 19, I might have cut him some slack more often.  He has had his share of hard times and stupid stunts, but at the end of the day, he has come through and grown into this man who makes me glad I'm his mom.
Justin is going to finish his fourth year in college this may.  He won't have his bachelors yet because he took a year to go to Bible college.  Can I just say that it was the best year he has ever spent?  Going into it, I think he thought after the first week he was going to jump ship, but he held on and I know he is glad he did.  It was the first time that I could actually SEE someone mature.
I think one of the best parts of being a mom is when I get a phone call at 10 or 11 at night from the boys.  No, seriously.  Even when I'm sound asleep I am always happy when they call.   Ya know why?  Because I know that THEY know that they can call ANY time and talk.  Whether it's because they just got out of work and didn't realize the time, or because they needed to ask how to do something, or just to vent, I absolutely LOVE it. 
The other best part is when I can introduce them to a friend of mine they don't know.  I think it's because I know, that I've probably gushed on and on at how awesome they are to this friend and so when I introduce them, they have no clue that I've pretty much made them sound like a god. 
I really don't think kids know how big a mothers love is.  It goes beyond a love they can even understand.  The amazing thing is that if God loves us even a fraction of how much a mothers love equals, then WHOA!

Gardening in my mind....... the only safe place to do it

I've been thinking about spring lately.   Yeah, I know, it's only the end of January and we have 3 more months until it gets here and because I live in upstate NY it's probably closer to 4 months until we see any sort of clear ground.  It's just that as soon as I've had enough of the cold stuff, my brain starts to activate this fresh dirt chemical that makes me think of chirping birds, tree's budding, flowers growing.... that sort of thing.  I'm not 100% sure the dirt chemical is a proven scientific fact so I'll have to get back to you on that, but wishing for spring is a sure bet!  I was in the store yesterday and I saw seed packets and mini bags of potting soil and I was drooling like Martha Stewart had just cooked a meal in front of me.  Maybe that would be the way to go.....  I could be the gardener for Martha Stewart!  Except, as part of my salary requirements, she would have to fly me someplace warm from the beginning of Dec. to mid April so I could start the seeds in the proper temperature.  Nothing to extravagant, maybe someplace like Key West, or the Caribbean....... and of course the new born plants would need to be flown home on a private jet so they didn't get stressed.      Yeah, I think that is the way it should work.  Unfortunately in the real world, my garden will probably be a set of containers sitting forlornly on my deck hoping and praying I don't forget to water them once a day.   You see, I'm not the avid gardener as my dream job would suggest.   I'm more of a "lets go see what grandma is growing" type of lady.    Even though every January I dream of gorgeous towering tomato plants and beautiful bountiful bush beans (yes I did just go there) , and cucumbers the size of baseball bats I know that in reality that the only way I'm going to get any fresh vegi's is to stop by the local farmers market.  I'm not sure where the disconnect is in my brain when it comes to Gardening 101.  My mom can grow just about anything and make it look like she prayed over each and every seed that she stuck in the ground.  I'm pretty sure she has had a successful garden ever since I can remember.   Even two years ago during the Great Tomato Blight (yes it was real) she still managed to save hundreds of tomatoes while her neighbor lost every last one.  So I'm really hoping my mom never meets Martha or I will be out of a job!
Oh who knows..... maybe this year will be different.  Maybe I will turn over the soil with shovel and hoe so it can be turned into a garden that Martha would kill for.     I'll let you know how it turns out........  as soon as the snow clears.........  sometime in July.

Moebius Awareness Day

Today is Moebius Syndrome Awareness day.   Although most of you that read my blog regularly know what Moebius Syndrome is, I thought I'd give a quick  Moebius Syndrome 1.1 class.........

As stated on the Moebius Syndrome Foundation website, Moebius syndrome is a rare neurological disorder that is present at birth.  It primarily affects the 6th and 7th cranial nerves, leaving those with the condition unable to move their faces (they can’t smile, frown, suck, grimace or blink their eyes) and unable to move their eyes laterally (Moebius Syndrome Foundation).
As is the case with Daniel, about 30% of kids affected with Moebius Syndrome are on the Autistic spectrum (Moebius Syndrome Foundation).

Danny has other brain abnormalities which complicate things, but his outward appearance is caused by the Moebius Syndrome.   I really can't imagine him any other way, nor would I want him to be.   Is that horrible?  I just know that he has been such a huge inspiration to me and others that I think one of the biggest purposes in his life is to show people that you can be all that God intended no matter what problems you may face.
For us, I'm not sure what one thing has been the hardest part of Moebius.  I think for Danny, he might say that the surgeries have been hardest.  I think for me, the not knowing what to expect has been the hard but I think the hardest part is watching when other kids and at times adults have either made fun of Danny or whispered about him in our presence.   

So in honor of Moebius Awareness Day, wear purple and take a look at the Foundation website to read more about this condition.
http://www.moebiussyndrome.com/

40 and more

Turning 40 isn't so bad.   I guess to be completely honest, I never thought it would be.  To me, age has always been a non issue for the most part.  Yeah, getting older is the pits in some ways, like having the 'ladies' act like they are praying to mecca, and wrinkles appearing where there weren't any before, knees cracking under pressure and that sort of thing.  The whole thing of being out of shape isn't fun either, except that has more to do with me just being plain lazy rather than age.........   So, all in all, 40 isn't bad.
Looking back, I couldn't wait until I got older so people would have to take me seriously.  When I had kids I thought it would happen..... nope.    When I turned 25 I thought I would have felt older or at least more mature........ definitely not! Surely at 30 I was going to be taken serious........  was that a joke?  Well, i've arrived at the very mature age of 40 and very few people still take me seriously, so I guess I'll have to rethink that whole pipe dream.
   
Another really cool aspect of my birthday,  and whether it's because it's my fortieth or not is a different story, is that I've been blessed with lots of people who wish me happy birthday all over facebook and friends who call me and sing silly songs to me (yeah that really happened). I've come to appreciate the friends and family I have immensely more  than I did when i was 20 or 30.   It's not that I didn't love them, it's just that I didn't understand the importance of appreciating those who love me.  That might sound odd.  I guess it is odd. I've always been one to want to pick up and move every few years.......  Ron is JUST starting to get to think that idea isn't so bad.   The moving part, not the every few years part.    The funny thing is, I'm starting to think I wouldn't want to.  We talked about it last night.   I came to the conclusion that I think I would actually be sad to move.  I have got the best friends any person could ask for......  no, really, I do.... and I love being close to my mom and dad and Ron's mom and sister.  My hope is that when the kids finish school they decide to get jobs someplace really awesome so we can just go stay with them for a few weeks and drive them nuts. 
 
Today also makes me think about my mom.  I'm thankful that she had me.  I'm glad she decided that they needed me even though I am 9 years younger than my sister......  I'm not sure if I'd want to start over with another baby after tasting 9 years of diaper free time.   Well, not tasting the diapers, but you get the idea.

So all that being said..............turning 40 isn't so bad ............

life from the sea shore

Recently the kids and I had the opportunity to go see Jake in North Carolina.    While we were there we went to  Wrightsville beach and walked up and down the shore so the kids could get sea shells and fill their shoes with sand.   Every car needs a pound of sand scrubbed into it's carpet from time to time.   
For as far as the eye can see the shoreline goes on and on;  waves lapping and dancing up to the edge and then quickly retreating as if the sand had burnt their watery toes.   As I bent to pick up a broken shell, God began showing me how we as humans are like these broken and battered shells.  
Every few minutes the kids would bring me a new shell to inspect and ooh and ahh over.  Some of them were nice, but some of them weren't so pretty.  That is when it hit me that we are just like that to others.  What I regard as beauty, my kids might find boring.  There were shells that my kids found that I would have quickly over looked.  The neat thing was that each shell was fulfilling it's purpose, being who it was and just how God had designed it.  The shell didn't, and more importantly couldn't change anything about itself to make it more appealing to the observer.  I think God wants us to understand that.  We don't need to change anything about ourselves to be loved, admired or chosen by God.  Who cares if person X doesn't like your shell?  The next shell hunter probably will and that is who needs your shell.  Ok, let me speak in human terms, I think the sand went to my brain.    There will be people who pass us by, who over look our gifts; however, the reason God has us here is to be Jesus for the one who needs us most.   We all have unique gifts, just like every one of those shells I picked up had unique markings.  The cool thing is that every one of those shells had to be broken and bounced around in the waves to be polished so they would catch our eye.  I think that is how God uses most of us.  We are broken and bounced around in the waves so we can be polished and honed just right to be used for His glory.  
When I think back on the things in my life I have walked through, I see how God has used it to shape me into the person I am.  Even the hardest things in my life like my dad's death when I was five, and the physical challenges I face with Danny, God has used those things to grow me.  Yes, I felt like I was being tumbled in the waves and sometimes forgotten on the beach, but looking from the other side I can see how God was polishing me and making me into something that can hopefully glorify Him.  
Next time you have the chance to go to the beach, take the time to search for some broken and imperfect shells and hold them to your ear.   You never know when one of them might be speaking to you. 

Last chance before 2011

I figured I should write something being that it is the last day of Dec. and I haven't written anything this month!  Time flys for sure!   I actually didn't think anyone still was reading what I wrote so I was contemplating not writing any more...... but I noticed a couple comments so that made me feel like not giving up.   

So,   Christmas is done and after tonight 2010 will be just another number under our belts.   I think I've added a few numbers under my belt this past year.... 

It's been an interesting year.  That. is. for. sure!    After three years of being free as a bird during the day I started homeschooling again.  Most days I'd have to say that it was a great decision.  I would be lying if I said all days were like that, but on a whole it's been pretty darn good.    Danny and Ally both seem happier and now Slayt is thinking he would like to give it a try.......  I guess I'll have to get Danny and Ally to not look so darn happy all the time.    JUST KIDDING!   I actually wouldn't mind homeschooling all of them.  I just worry that Slayt is to smart for MY own good.

I also noticed that the older I get the more holidays are lonely....... at least it was this year.  Other than the fact that it's fairly impossible to get everyone to get together at any time of the year, I propose that from now on, every family member has to get together in the same spot on at least ONE holiday each year!  That means, cousins, aunts, uncles, sisters, brothers, etc.!  oh to be a millionaire!

I started a book this year.  Yeah.  Don't ask how it's going.  It's still sitting on page two.  I have a bunch of killer first sentences, but most people wouldn't be interested in reading a 300 page book of great first sentences.   However, if they would, this book would be top on the NY Times best seller list!  Just saying!
I think my problem is that I am trying to edit as I write, and that just doesn't work.  I need to "brain dump" and then edit later.  It's just not that easy.

I'm wondering what 2011 is going to bring.  I'm hoping for a stress free year, but I'm starting to realize that in the real world stress is part of life.  I really liked my world better when I was young and naive and thought that money grew on trees.   Ok, not on trees but it certainly grew from the pocket in your mothers pants...... and bills were optional. Trips were mandatory and Santa really was real.  Yeah, I like that world better so....... can I get a do over?

Happy New Year everyone!